For example, this weekend is my birthday. A few months ago I made plans with a group of friends to go out to a club that I love. My husband is going to drive so no one has to worry about it. Two of the people are crashing it my place. One of them is from out of town and I am so excited to see her. I've been so excited for this. I even bought a new outfit. However, the closer to the date that I get the more knotted my stomach becomes. I feel like I fail at adulting and that my apartment is going to be judged. I'm worried because one of my friends can be judge (not one of the ones coming to my place) and vocal about it. I'm worried that I'm going to have a panic attack while I'm out. And that's just the tip of the anxiety iceberg I'm having today. I'm actually thinking a nice stomach bug could get me out of this whole thing and I can spend my birthday curled up in bed with ginger ale, crackers and books (and maybe even lose a few pounds!) and not worry about it. But then I worry about disappointing everyone. And....now I'm crying over that. I just can't win today. I'm sure I will enjoy myself, but at this moment I'm not.
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